Tuesday, August 9, 2011
Clinging to sanity by a thread
Lots of changes happening lately. If you know me well enough you know I do not do well with change. I just don't handle it well I never have since a young age. Joe just started school again which 2 days in I am already hating it so much. Madison is a HANDFUL right now. She wants every second of my attention I have been really trying to break her of that before this next little one comes in March. I am realizing pregnancy is so much harder with a 2 year old. I am tired and exhausted and cranky. Which in turn makes me have 10 times less patience with her. We just seem to battle it out everyday which is so frustrating. I really need to potty train her but I just can't seem to get the motivation to do it. My calling in church has just been too overwhelming for me. I am the "permanent sub" for Sunday school they want me to plan a lesson every week and then just where ever they need me they stick me there. It is really hard to gear the lesson because I don't know what age I am teaching and each class is on different lessons so sometimes they have heard it already and just tone me out. You know how teenagers can be. Not really sure what I am going to do about it but with all my hormones it is too stressful and overwhelming and I am going to have to talk to the bishop or something. Being pregnant in itself is super stressful to me right now because of having Miscarried twice in the past I am so nervous about it happening again. I miss my friends like real friends I miss Shara I can't believe she has been gone now for almost 5 years. Life just seems to stressful right now and I feel like I am hanging onto sanity by a thread. I am praying for patience and peace. Praying for the calm after the storm. I hope it comes soon.
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Hang in there Jeni! Brad and I were reading the Ensign article the bishopric asked the ward to read for this past Sunday and there was a quote I liked it was quoted by Elder Johnson who was quoting Orson F. Whitney “No pain that we suffer, no trial that we experience is wasted. … All that we suffer and all that we endure, especially when we endure it patiently, builds up our characters, purifies our hearts, expands our souls, and makes us more tender and charitable. … It is through sorrow and suffering, toil and tribulation, that we gain the education that we come here to acquire.”5 I just liked the thought that every trial we have is specific to us. You can get through this, just rely on the Lord (as I'm sure you are). Hope this helps some :)
ReplyDeleteSometimes you have to take it in small increments - 1 day, 1 hr, 5 min - at a time.
ReplyDeleteAs for your calling, I can see where the frustration would come from. One suggestion, though, don't go talk to the Bishop until AFTER he calls a new RS President :)
praying for patience will only make you crazier cuz God will give you more opportunities to be patient! haha jk
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