Tuesday, August 9, 2011
Clinging to sanity by a thread
Lots of changes happening lately. If you know me well enough you know I do not do well with change. I just don't handle it well I never have since a young age. Joe just started school again which 2 days in I am already hating it so much. Madison is a HANDFUL right now. She wants every second of my attention I have been really trying to break her of that before this next little one comes in March. I am realizing pregnancy is so much harder with a 2 year old. I am tired and exhausted and cranky. Which in turn makes me have 10 times less patience with her. We just seem to battle it out everyday which is so frustrating. I really need to potty train her but I just can't seem to get the motivation to do it. My calling in church has just been too overwhelming for me. I am the "permanent sub" for Sunday school they want me to plan a lesson every week and then just where ever they need me they stick me there. It is really hard to gear the lesson because I don't know what age I am teaching and each class is on different lessons so sometimes they have heard it already and just tone me out. You know how teenagers can be. Not really sure what I am going to do about it but with all my hormones it is too stressful and overwhelming and I am going to have to talk to the bishop or something. Being pregnant in itself is super stressful to me right now because of having Miscarried twice in the past I am so nervous about it happening again. I miss my friends like real friends I miss Shara I can't believe she has been gone now for almost 5 years. Life just seems to stressful right now and I feel like I am hanging onto sanity by a thread. I am praying for patience and peace. Praying for the calm after the storm. I hope it comes soon.